Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Yet another boring morning;

I got virtually no sleep last night because I had the worst nightmare of my life; It was that I was being raped in the woods by some guy I don't even know, and then he stabbed me and left me there to die. Okay maybe I shouldn't have stayed up watching 'I Survived'... Anyways, I just woke up about a half hour ago, with a blasting headache, and, as usual, I am going to be bored as living hell all day, being sick. But, I'm going to attempt to look at the good things that have been happening to me lately; my life has actually been getting better. First of all, I'm getting a laptop this week. I've wanted one for a while, and now I'm finally getting one! (And I'm also getting a Joker mouse pad, and a heart shaped mouse to go with it!) Third of all, Summer is almost here! Which means: I can sleep in all day, stay up all night, hang out whenever I want, and have an unlimited amount of sleepovers! And best of all: no god damned homework! On a different subject; I've written some more poems, which I'm going to put on the bottom of this post. I'm very glad that my friends actually like my poems, and say they are "AMAZING!"; And my best friend said "Ashley, you actually sound smart when you write those." It makes me feel good to know that my friends think I have some type of talent. - xoxo Ashley

Hatred Burns
By: Ashley P.

Red hot rage;
blinding you,
as it begins ripping through your soul,
burning the contents inside.

Your heart reduced to ashes,
panic rips a path to your brain,
you cannot comprehend,
the horrible truth.

The hatred you have held for so long,
it is finally consuming you,
to the very core of your being.

You are terror stricken,
you try to run,
from the hatred that is slowly burning you.

Your wrongs cannot be undone,
your sins cannot be hidden,
from this blind world,
that is unsuspecting of your murderous ways.

Nothing can soothe you,
nothing can undo your wretched ways,
your horrible acts.

Slowly,
painfully,
as you have done to so many others,
you are consumed,
and swallowed up,
by your red hot rage.

Idea:
I got the idea for this poem while I was watching a show about Jeffrey Dohmer on ID. For
those of you who don't know who Jeffrey Dohmer is, or what he has done, I will tell you. Jeffrey Dohmer was a serial killer, who killed 17 or more men and boys, in very disturbing ways, after he raped them. He was a homosexual, and was also a Necrophile. (A Necrophile is someone who finds an erotic, or sexual attraction to dead bodies; they are also obsessed with death.) He kept body parts in his fridge and freezer, and was a cannibal, who ate parts of his victims he liked the most so "they would be with him forever". Jeff also kept body parts in various parts of his home; and attempted to create "zombies" out of some of his victims, by injecting acid into their brains. He was beaten to death in prison; which reminds me, he should have gotten the death sentence anyway... Guess that's what he got in the end. Um. Yea I know; how disgusting and morbid. Well; it gave me an idea, so whatever. - xoxo Ashley


Arsenic
By: Ashley P.

Mourning in the field,
we are but a flock of ravens,
searching for an ounce of sympathy,
hoping for forgiveness,
some sense of clarity.

Ticking time-bombs,
we wait, we watch,
as the world explodes.

Our only sustenance,
these bitter almonds,
will cause our demise,
and grant our hidden wishes.

We are slowly shattering inside,
like broken glass,
these bitter almonds are infecting us,
blackening us,
touching every ounce of our humanity.

This grim reality,
the horrific truth,
no one is safe.

This poison keeps killing,
until we confess,
to our horrible deeds,
that no one could have stopped.

We try to hide,
from what we really are,
we are only vessels,
that souls wonder through.

Individuality is like Arsenic,
similar to anti-free,
it slowly kills us,
inside out.

Frowned upon,
we try to leave behind,
our terrifying thoughts,
these unthinkable actions,
these bitter almonds.

Idea:
There are many places where I got the idea for the poem 'Arsenic' from;
1. The lines that say 'bitter almonds' are actually hinting toward the title, because bitter almonds is the smell of Arsenic when discovered in a dead body.
2. The line that says 'similar to anti-free' is hinting toward the chemical Anti-Freeze; The word Anti-free is used here because on ID I saw a show on a woman (Stacey Castor) who had poisoned her two husbands with Anti-Freeze to collect on life insurance; she also tried to murder her daughter by slipping a heavy dose of pills into her drink... Attempting to make her death look like a suicide, she typed a note, having it seem like her daughter was confessing both the murders of Castor's husband, and her daughter's father. In the note, she uses the words 'Anti-Free' instead of Anti-Freeze, which Castor had used in an interview just weeks before.
3. I didn't write this poem to just be dark; it is suppose to have a message. The message is that in this world, we are slowly killing ourselves with thoughts of death and destruction. (War, people starving, etc.) Also, we are going mad, because of the issues and horror we are creating. Hence the lines:

Ticking time-bombs,
we wait, we watch,
as the world explodes.

4. Also, with the line about individuality being similar to Arsenic, I was trying to say that people who express themselves are being poisoned by their individuality, because so many people frown upon them for not going with the crowd; they are cast out... They die a little inside from their own ideas and thoughts, by being slowly starved of human contact, just like someone who is poisoned.
- xoxo Ashley

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