Yet again; Another long night;

Last night had to be the most scary night I've had in a while. I couldn't sleep, so I started to watch the movie 'Sybil' (after 3 hours of South Park), and halfway through the movie, right when I was about to fall asleep, my mom bursts into my room and tells me to get my keys, hurry up, and go outside. All I was thinking was 'Wat the fuck mom; it's 11:30 at night!' Well, then we went to my Grandma's house. (She lives right next-door.) My mom didn't even bother telling me why the fuck she just basically woke me up, or why she was being so god-damned paranoid. When we woke my grandma up, and went inside the house, my mom told us why she was freaking out. Apparently, some freak-o called my house twice, and told my mom he was in front of our house. (He also apparently said some nasty sexual shit too.) My mom ended up calling the cops, who couldn't trace the call because I guess someone has to call three times for them to trace it; in the end, the cops found no one outside my house, after driving around three or four times. I then couldn't fall asleep until 1:30 - 2:00 in the friggin morning; and then to just top the whole fucking thing off, my mom wakes me up at 6:30 telling me I'm going to school! Um. Wat the fuck?; yesterday the doctor said I shouldn't go today. Well whatever, I ended up staying home because I feel like shit and have a fever still. On a lighter note, I started a diet last week, and I've already lost some weight. (: Hooray! (And, also, I've decided that on all my blog posts I'm going to put a pretty picture on the left, near the text.) Just like about everyone I know can't wait for Summer, and neither can I! It's just so close; my vacation starts on June 17th. (That's 23 days in all, and about 14 days of school!) Damn, this year went by way too fast, It's like I snapped my fingers in August and all of a sudden it's June again. The only thing I don't like about Summer is that now I won't be able to see all of my friends almost everyday. (And I probably won't be able to see my boyfriend that much either...) But hey, at-least in Summer you can sit on your ass all day, and not get yelled at for being lazy. I also write a lot of poems in the Summer. (Which reminds me that I have yet another one to include in this post!) I think I'll probably end up putting a poem up at the end of most of my posts. - xoxo Ashley

Daddy's Little Girl
By: Ashley P.

The sadness is overwhelming,
almost too much for you to bear,
your blood is freezing, purple,
fingertips shaking uncontrollably.

In the corner you are huddled,
in a useless heap,
crying endlessly,
losing sleep.

He's always hit you,
bruises covering your face,
you no longer feel them.

The cold, unforgiving floor,
is where you lay,
your sitting, sobbing,
even God can't help you.

Your heart is freezing,
no more blood,
this is the only way.

Tomorrow they will find you,
hung up from the ceiling,
daddy's little girl.

It was the only way.

Idea:
I got the idea for this one while watching the movie 'Sybil' last night. Although in the movie the little girl is about five or six, and her mother is the one abusing her, I thought it was necessary to change the situations, mainly because that movie makes me cry. (And I don't like crying while I write.) Also, because it's hard to imagine a mother hitting, or even sexually abusing her five year old daughter. I have never been abused, by anyone for that matter, but I still think it is a horrible thing for a small child especially to have to go through. We all think of our mothers as angels when we are that small, so I would hate to imagine having a mother who trips me down the stairs, or hurts me sexually. (Like the mother in the movie.) I know the movie is probably very exaggerated from the book, which was most likely exaggerated from the real story of Sybil Dorsett ( real name being Shirley Mason) , but the movie still makes me cry; And most people know that I don't cry very easily, especially about movies. I think the main thing that did it for me was the fact the mother was the most horrible person I think I've ever seen; and they also just had to choose the cutest little girl to play Sybil, I swear they did that on purpose.

- xoxo Ashley